Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Current Situation

My life has taken a lot of twists and turns over the last summer, as I'm sure a select few of you know. To begin, I am now on two types of psychoactive medication; Lexapro and Wellbutrin. Let me explain what each of those does. The former is one that helps with a certain condition called "dysthymia," or as my physician puts it, "Eeyore syndrome." This condition (which I believe more people suffer from than anyone thinks) makes people very apathetic, much like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. The latter, Wellbutrin, is more of just an overall mood enhancer.

Other than that there have been some more noticeable changes to my life. I am only going part-time to school, taking only 6 credits. I have also switched from being a Computer Science major to the more fitting Computer Game Design department, where I have met many a kind soul.

The reason why you haven't heard from me in upwards of two months is that I haven't had access to a computer at home. This has been the most recent and most impacting concern that I am recently facing. It all started when I quit a job that I had at a restaurant after just a few days. There are many sides to this story, and many "reasons" why I did it. I'm not going to get into those...just know that I still do not regret that decision. But I digress...

My parents got extremely mad at me, which I resentfully understand. They decided that I should not be allowed on the computer until I got a job, which I was less than enthusiastic to do, because I wanted more of my focus to be on school and my future. My parents' decision to take me off the computer is one that I will resent for the rest of my life. It has put my life at a standstill for the past two months, with no real way that I can be productive in the areas that I need to. This has lasted until this day... I almost have a good job; a job that I can actually get behind and one that I think will help me a great deal. The job is being a lab monitor in the art building at Mason, which is where Computer Game Design is based. It would be perfect and I should hear within the next few days.

I'm living at home this semester, which is something bittersweet, to say the least. It might become a little irritating having to live with my parents, but I've made it 19 years so far, so I should be able to make a few more. The upside, though, is that there ARE less distractions and a little more subconscious motivation for me to do my work.

That's all I can think of now. I'll try to just keep plugging away, I guess...

- D

Thursday, August 30, 2012

I'm Back


Ok, maybe not that much of a surprise, because no one actually reads this...but still...surprise!!

I will be posting more in the near future. A lot has happened to me this past summer, and I mean a LOT. I can't really say too much right now because I have a meeting with someone in about 15 minutes. If you were wondering, I am back at GMU going to school part-time, and I am planning to change my major to Computer Game Design; it's a little more up my alley.

I'll try to fill [you] in on more later but for now just know that I'm doing better than I normally am and once I get my computer back (long story :/), I'll be posting even more; but for now I'll find computers whenever I can.

- D

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Pinch Me

I rarely actually dream about the girls I like, don't know why. Last night, however, I had a dream about one that just recently closed all possible doors I could have found. It was innocent enough. I was going to see her at her driving school and she "confessed" her love to me. Afterwards, I went on a skiing trip and forgot my skiing clothes (I don't have any). When I was with her in the dream, I quite literally pinched myself twice because I thought I was dreaming.

I didn't wake up when I pinched myself. I wish I had never woken up from that, it would have been perfect. For the first time in my life, I would have gotten something that I really wanted, right from the top of my list; I won't get her, though, and now I just need to worry about accepting it. I need to keep her as a friend; I need to keep her off my mind.

- D

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Purpose of Motivation

Most of us have seen a video or heard a song that has motivated us. It speaks about today's age going away from the more hardworking era and towards an era of instant gratification; one which rewards people for barely doing anything. It talks about working hard just to work hard and accomplish something most people don't.

It grabs our attention and makes us decide that second that we are going to change; we are going to try and make a difference in our lives because of a two minute audio clip, and it's good.

But what happens when that video ends? What happens when you snap back to reality. In those two minutes after the video, we justify our lives in order to not change. That's the problem with those videos. They are without the correct medium to actually LET us change our lives. They don't LET us make any big changes, because, as I sit here having just woken up in the dark, I won't change my life; I'm not in the position to.

That's what we need to do...FIND the position to change our lives. FIND that one golden circumstance that allows you for true inspired change...THEN you will have changed, and it will be for the better.

- D

Friday, May 25, 2012

Try Your Darndest

I think it's a basic human desire to want to be in a situation that really tests your limits; just to really try your strengths to their extent and leave you empty. I've never really been in a situation like this. My life has been relatively relaxed. The only time I think that a human being will really push their limit, though, is when it is life or death for them or somebody they love.

If I could die tomorrow, without regret and having saved someone, I would absolutely make that choice. Think about it.

- D

Night Out in Sydney

So my sister took me out with her group of friends out to Sydney last night. Here's the scenario. It was a group of seven attractive girls who were used to going out I'm not an unrealistic person, I wasn't expecting "something" to happen; it wasn't that kind of night. It's just hard for me to open up to that caliber of girl without really getting to know them chugging hard liquor. Thanks to them, though, they were very nice and I did have a lot of fun for a while. I mostly sat there and looked around while they talked and laughed; while I would occasionally laugh at one of their jokes.

Then we met these three guys; Liam, Daniel, and Tom. Daniel was "canoodling" with Amanda (the hottest one, imho). Tom was with a girl named Rachel (also very attractive). Liam, however, decided to "take me out to find some girls," as he put it. For those of you who know me and how I am, you know that this didn't work out too well. I'm not saying I didn't have fun walking around watching him talk to girls while sticking to the walls; it's just not the first thing I do at a club.

In conclusion, I know that the group of girls will, unfortunately, never read this; but thanks. I look the youngest out of all of you and don't particularly fit in socially, but thanks for making a me a member of the group for one night, at least.

- D

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Day Four Down Unda

Well I'm in day 4 now. To recap, I've eaten at a lot of places. I saw my sister sing in her a cappella group (she was amazing, and so was the rest of her group; I'm happy i went). I walked around Sydney and went to the top of the Sydney Eye (tall building, looked around). We saw the botanic garden, which includes thousands of bats. After that we went to the Sydney Opera House and ate at one of the most expensive eateries I've ever been to. We went there, had a few beers and four appetizers. Then we payed $120. It seemed almost like two separate events.

The things that I've done here have been interesting, to say the least, but I feel like I am not the type of person that would appreciate this type of "sight-seeing" vacation. I don't want to seem ungrateful, although I'm sure that I will, but I just don't like this kind of ooh-look-at-that-it's-so-pretty type of lifestyle that we are living here. I am going to go out and party with my sister and her friends at some point and that sounds fun. Other than that, I just find the constant walkaround of the place boring.

If it wasn't for my sister, I think that I would be about ready to go home. I miss my computer, being the kind of person I am, and I miss my home. I'm sure I will enjoy the rest of our stay, but that will be more out of necessity than true interest.

- D

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Australian Differences

Well I've been in Australia for almost a full day. It was really good to see my sister, as she met us at the airport. She did her best to show us around the city, or at least as much of the city we were awake enough to see.

While I was exploring Australia, there are many differences that I have noticed. I will do my best to start with the ones that everyone knows, and go on to the more obscure/subtle differences.

  • Everyone drives and walks on the left. Also, people drive on the right side of the car. This means all the controls are reversed, as well. That means that whenever we make a turn, the windshield wipers go off instead of the turn signals.
  • The accents are cool. I've always loved an Australian accent. A hot girl with an Australian accent becomes an even hotter girl.
  • The money is different. It's worth a small percentage more than American dollars. Also, everything here is way more expensive. My sister ordered a burger yesterday for $25.
  • When you say "thank you," people don't say "you're welcome." They say "no worries" or "not a problem."
  • There are two different buttons for flushing a toilet. A small flush, and a big flush; this depends on, well, you get the point.
  • They love being "green." There are a number of things that have to do with conserving energy. Every wall socket has a switch that you turn off when it isn't being used, for example.
  • There is no heat in the houses. When it gets cool (we are heading into Australia's winter right now), you just put on a sweater, or turn on a space heater.
  • Pineapple on hamburgers. Revolutionary. America, please do your part.
  • Birds are annoying. Really annoying.
  • I can drink. I haven't had a full fledged legal drink, but since the drinking age is 18, I will be taking advantage of that at some point.
That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure I'll update with more later.

- D

Friday, May 18, 2012

Airplane 3

So I’m on the flight(s) to Australia. The one I’m currently on is going to San Francisco. It’s a six hour flight, and I will be arriving at 7:30 PST and thereafter post this online (I’m writing in Word whilst 20,000 feet above everyone). After that, I will be sitting for about a two and a half hour layaway in the airport. After that, it’s off to Australia! I have no idea how long the flight is going to be, but it will be long. Luckily, I am riding in a 747, which I’m pretty sure just stands for 747 “plane units” bigger than the planes that you normally fly in… I just hope it means more leg room possibly. For now, though, I have to live through about two more hours of this. It’s not bad really, I’m not one to complain; I can just sit and listen to music, having already slept for about an hour.

My right leg fell asleep, though, which kind of sucks. I’m in a window seat (thank god) and my right leg is all the way against the wall, with two people to my left. They are both asleep with many things in their lap, so I’m not about to tell them to get up just so I can use the bathroom; young bladder, I can hold it. Other than that, I put two full seasons of Doctor Who on my laptop, I have 3,000+ songs on my iPhone, and I have my 3DS with about eight games. So, naturally, I’m incredibly bored and have nothing to do. I guess I’ll put on the next episode…

- D

Departure Times

So, today I'm leaving for Australia. 99% of the reason I'm going is to see my sister. I haven't seen her in months and I miss her a lot. I'll do my best to post what I'm doing while I'm there to keep everyone up to speed. I am pretty much fully packed but I only have an hour to get everything else together. That means I have to go, unfortunately.

See you down under...

- D