Saturday, February 25, 2012

You

Yes. I'm talking to you. All of you. And me. Stop being so damn cold. Stop being narcissistic. Stop being a bigot. Stop being egotistical. Stop being passive aggressive. Stop trying to act like a "real man." Stop all the power plays. Stop being condescending. Stop it. Seriously. It pisses everyone off.

It doesn't matter how generous you think you are, because 99% of the things that you do, even if it isn't even close to directly, are for selfish reasons.

I don't care if this loses me viewers. I don't care if one of the possibly 5 people that read this blog just plain old stops, because even if you stop reading here, you've heard my point and eventually it will sink in. That's the plan at least...

Everyone is equal. Yes you, you're not fooling anyone. You may think you're smarter, or stronger, or purer, or whatever-er. Everyone has the same potential to prove their worth whichever way they want. All of us, however, are too damn focused on proving that we are better that none of us take the time to actually better ourselves. The reason I created this blog was in hopes of passing along at least some of the knowledge that I hope to have learned in my life. This is pretty much my entire message, this post.

tl;dr : Stop trying to fool yourself; you're no better than the rest of us.

- D

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Comm Class Sitcom Part One (The Setting)

So in my comm class, there's this group of three people sitting two rows in front of me. Leaving names out of it, there is a girl with a boy on either side. The boy on the left (lets call him Lefty) clearly has an interest in this girl (lets call her a capitalized version of the subject, Her). He approaches it the wrong way, however. He tries his best to be completely hipster and every time he looks at/says something funny, he looks at her for what looks like acceptance. However, she does not appear to be interested in him.

The boy on the right (lets call him Righty) has a scraggly beard but a clean appearance; and she appears to be quite fond of him. He doesn't pay all that much attention to her, appearing to have other things on his mind. How I take it, however, is that he is also interested in her, but is approaching it the correct way. It's more of an adult approach to the classic "hard-to-get" method which I fail at.

Well, from my point of view (slightly biased I must admit, for I am also interested in this girl), this situation is hilarious. Left does everything he can to get Her attention. Class is over though, so more on this later...

- D

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Her Part Four

This is all I'm going to say... Why the hell is it so hard to get over some people?

- D

Myself

What happened tonight was the most influential/effective stuff that has ever happened to me. I know that if you know me personally (because you're probably my mom or sister), you want to know what happened; so you should just call me.

This is the first blog that I've directly done about myself. This is the first time that I've actually spilled myself out to the internet. I've never really opened up to anyone... I've never really told anyone my true feelings. I am a pathetic person... I am gross in some ways, but what most of you don't know is that I am very gifted. I can normally tell what people feel about things, and how they want things to change.

However, I don't know how to do anything about it... I don't know how to change anything around me, and I am too scared to try. You will probably find out more in another post...

- D

Them

They are the closest people to you. Family gets close, but there is no one as close to you as your friends are. Best friends are those people who always know exactly how to help you; and they are willing to help you do anything. You can trust them with every essence of your soul. It doesn't even matter what you've been through with them or how long you've known them; because you know when you are close enough to someone to truly trust them. There is no doubt. There is no suspicion that they might betray you.

You know that they will always be faithful. You know that no matter what, they will be with you through all of your hard times. Also, there is no way to explain it. It is impossible, literally IMPOSSIBLE, to explain how it is that you can trust these people. They might ridicule you; they might even poke fun at you in front of large crowds. But, in your mind, there is no doubt that these friends will help.

It doesn't matter what happens to you either... It doesn't matter how severe the incident is; they will be there. You know that they will and it is that which will help you through any problem that you are facing.

I'm sorry if this is gibberish. I'm sorry if you really do not feel the same way, but you and I both know deep inside that it's true. I don't care what happens. You. Are. Fine. Shit goes down. All can go to hell. But there are always those people who will help you out of it. I don't care what internet cretins are reading this, but I know that you all feel the same, even if you don't realize it yet. And for those who know me? Call me whenever. Know that: I. Love. You.

I WILL help. This is one of the most sincere things that I have ever written. I don't care if I don't even know you personally... Find someone else, share it... Tell them to talk to me. I don't care who it is, but I WILL help you. Just let me know.

- D

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Regrets

Everyone does things that they regret in their own head. These things might be really harmless, or outwardly offensive towards a crowd. However terrible these things are, though, there is always a way to get past them and forget why you regret them so much. Things can get bad, and everyone makes mistakes; but that's just it, everyone makes mistakes. You can't be blamed for everything that you do, and you certainly can't be blamed for everything that happens to you.

If you regret something, you will feel like the loneliest person in the world. That's when you need to remember that there ARE people that care about you. There ARE people that would die for your safety. Just this knowledge alone, if truly understood, makes it so one is never alone.

- D

Friday, February 17, 2012

Private School

If you're reading this and have gone to my private school, Nysmith, then you probably think that it didn't really prepare you for much of the studying you are going to have to do in high school and college. This is true. However, I believe that Nysmith taught me a certain way of thinking, an entirely different train of thought that I utilize every day.

I can't explain to you why I think it has and I really have no idea how I would have been taught it, but I know that there are some talents that me and fellow Nysmith alumni share. Firstly, for some reason, I am very good at grammar. You may notice some grammar mistakes in my blog, yes, but it's either just me being careless or true poetic license. Secondly, all of us are very good at seeing people for who they truly are. Again, this is hard to explain; but I believe it is relevant in almost all aspects of life.

Thanks Nysmith, for everything and nothing. Thanks for random skills that I'm not even sure I acquired there. But most of all, thanks for great friends that I somehow still have.

- D

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Basketball Game

In this post, there will be no deep thought; there will be no ignorant musings. I am just remarking upon the extremely entertaining basketball game I went to. It was George Mason vs. VCU. I go to George Mason so obviously I was cheering for them. There were remarkable plays throughout the entire game, but the ending was the best part. We were tied with about three minutes left and we started trading baskets.

With about 30 seconds left, VCU was ahead by a good amount of points. That was when Mason started making a lot of points. We would make a basket and then foul them so the clock stops. Eventually, we are behind by two and it is our ball with two seconds left. This was literally the ending of a game out of a movie. One of our players gets the ball and shoots the three pointer right before the buzzer went off.

When the ball went in the basket, everyone in the stadium LOST THEIR SHIT. Everyone literally went batshit crazy. People were yelling, screaming, throwing things; it was amazing. This was the first game I'd been to this year with all of my friends and it was a photograph game. Thanks to everyone at Mason.

- D


Monday, February 13, 2012

Kawridge

College is mostly only composed of three elements. There are classes, those pesky things between waves of social contact and sleep. Students should spend around 90% of their time focusing on classes. In reality, however, most students spend about 20% of their time actually studying. It probably increases throughout a student's college career, but since I am only a freshman, I can only account for so much.

The other element of college life is the social aspect. Purely platonic relationships take up about 30% of a college student's life. They can be friends, roommates, suitemates, and friends of friends with whom you are forced to see on a regular basis.

The last 50%, at least for the men in college, is spent on trying to have sex. It is why we do things and it makes most of our decisions for us. The libido controls way too many aspects of our life. It makes sense, though, because the only way a species can survive is if they live long enough to be able to reproduce. The human race is just fulfilling their part.

- D

Loneliness

Everybody feels loneliness at different times, and to different extents. There are also circumstances where one can feel lonely while surrounded by people. People have to remember though, that there is always someone thinking about them. You think about certain people and wish that they were there. There is someone else that you don't often think about who is thinking about you. There are always people who care about you and you have to remember that.

You're not alone.

- D

Friends

Friends will leave you. People can suddenly become uninterested in you. You won't necessarily remain acquainted with certain people forever. Throughout my friendship with this one person, we became very close. We chose to have classes together and every day when we both got home, we would remain in touch over the Internet. However, just recently, we disagreed on one certain large subject and it opened our eyes to how much we really disagree with each other.

Most people, if under the right circumstances, won't bat an eye towards leaving you behind to walk in the cold, alone...

- D

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Australia

My sister landed in Australia today. She left yesterday at 4:00 PM and arrived today at 4:00 PM. I can't imagine such a long flight... Also, when she landed, the time in Australia was 8:00 AM a day later than it was here. She only spent about four hours on Saturday...

I can't imagine getting off the plane on a new continent with literally infinite directions which I could take. I know that she has a room at the college she is temporarily going to, but after she's done putting down her things there, she can go wherever she wants. Crazy...

- D

Anger

I've never actually hit anyone before in true anger. I've gotten close and I've had my fair share of punching walls; but I've never actually struck anyone in anger. I got close today... What really sets me off is both ignorance, and condescension: when people think that they're better than everyone else and have no trouble showing it.

People also show anger in many different ways... I choose the more silent, wimpy approach, where I blog about my troubles to you few people who randomly stumbled upon this. Other people actually decide to deal with their problems, which normally leads to more conflict than necessary. The third way is to complain to people that are close to you. Although I do this from time to time, I don't recommend it, because it just leads to awkward relationships of the worst kind...

- D

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Her Part Three

So, as it turns out, I was very right. She wasn't interested, and I don't think that there is anything I can do to change that. I just hope, that within a small amount of time, I am back to being only friends with her and not wanting any more; because the way things are going, I don't think that I am going to get any more from her...

- D

My Sister

This post isn't going to be about my random opinions on the planet, but rather, my sister. Earlier, she left for Australia for a study abroad program with her school. She is going to be gone for about 5 months. This is going to be hard for me because I am very close with her. I am going to miss her for the entire time that she is gone.

ALSO, when I finish my second semester of college, I am going to go to Aussie land to visit her for about two weeks, which is going to be awesome. I can't wait to see her and see how she is doing in such a far away place. I will blog more about this tomorrow...

- D

Friday, February 10, 2012

Anonymity

The power of being truly anonymous is not something to be taken lightly. However, in this day and age, it is nearly impossible to be TRULY anonymous. There is always something that will lead back to you somewhere. But, if there is a 100% certainty that your identity is truly hidden from all view, then there are no limits as to what you can do. Whether it's on the internet or even in a real life setting, anonymity is everything. Because in that situation, the one with the anonymity is the one with the least to lose, because he/she literally has nothing to lose.

- D

Liar, Liar

Everybody lies. All of us. Oh...you don't? Shut up, stop lying, yes you do. From the beginning of spoken word, people have lied. It's for a lot of different reasons, but it all roots from the same thing...the inability to completely trust others. Nobody unconditionally trusts another. It's not programmed in our brains to completely rely on someone else. That brings me to one of my all time favorite quotes:

"Beware of he who withholds information, for he dreams himself your master." - Anonymous

- D

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Her Part Two

She jokes around. She makes subtle flirts that you don't think mean anything. You can never be sure though, and that's why you don't stop trying. But on the other hand, you don't know enough about her to make a move.

And every time, without fail, when you decide to make a move, she's not there anymore. You take a look at what happened, and she moved on. She's with someone else.

Once you realize all of this, the next time that it happens you might know better, and it might turn out better for you. But probably not...

- D

Tough Guy Act

You know the people. They insist that if they don't like it, then you shouldn't like it or you're "gay." They make fun of things that they actually support and support things that they actually dislike just to earn the respect of the majority. Tough guys. Fuck that. Why can't all of us just be ourselves all the time. Why can't we just go on with what we want to do...

It doesn't make any sense.

- D

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Scare Tactics

Why do people freak out over viruses or phishing scams? People spend great deals of time complaining or trying to fight malicious attacks against their computers or their online accounts. As long as people stop being stupid, there is no reason any of them should be getting viruses or becoming the victim of scams.

I'm not saying to not be careful. Sure, check the sources of every e-mail that you receive. Sure, freak out whenever you open an e-mail that you shouldn't. But, don't start yelling at people you know for doing things on the internet that may or may not be safe or secure.

Those stories about "experts on computer security," getting caught by a scam or virus, are 80% complete bullshit and 20% ridiculous circumstances. Don't be scared by these stories, and don't stop surfing the web because of them. Just don't be an idiot on the internet...

- D

Monday, February 6, 2012

Public Speaking

I'm about to give a speech for my public speaking class. I at least know the names of everyone in the room, all of them have to do the same speech, and it's on a movie that I feel passionately about. So why am I nervous? I'm extroverted, not socially awkward, and I love talking to people; but for some reason, I feel like this speech is gonna kill me...

- D

No Currency

Imagine a world with no currency, where everyone does work for the better of their community as a whole. This causes no war, no jealousy, and no conflict. This world, however, cannot exist, because our human race is intrinsically selfish. We have to have more than the person next to us. If we don't, we cannot be happy in that situation.

I'm not trying to say you need to have everything to be happy, but there is a part of all of us that wants to have more than our neighbors.

- D

Sunday, February 5, 2012

I Believe in the Coxswain's Voice

It was semi-finals. I was rowing in the last 300 meters of the race. My legs burned, I couldn't see, and the only things I could hear were the sound of the oarlocks clicking and the coxswain's voice. We were in close second place right behind our rival team.

It was at this moment when the coxswain said it. He reminded us that our boat did not make finals during this same race last year. Time stopped. It was as if everything that I had ever worked for in life didn't matter if I didn't win this race. My legs stopped burning, my eyes focused, and the only thing between me and that finish line were 250 meters of unforgiving water. That one sentence changed that race forever for me and for the rest of the rowers in that boat.

I believe in the coxswain's voice, the unrelenting motivation brought by a few simple words to the mind of a living machine. I believe in the power of the right words at the right time. It is these words that push us to be our best in life, and drive us to succeed. It is motivation when we most need it that makes us thrive in life.

Everybody knows that feeling, too. It's the feeling when you think you're about to give up, but something happens or somebody tells you something that makes you try harder than you were trying before. You suddenly find your inner strength not to quit, and to push through the hard times. When it feels like all is lost, your heart begins to race and nothing can stop you.

I've been a coxswain. I've said those few words. To me, it's an idea. To the rowers, it's a few gravelly words muttered through a cox box that makes all the difference.

I believe in the coxswain's voice, the glimmer of light in an enveloping darkness.

I believe in the coxswain's voice, the shred of hope in an otherwise overwhelming situation.

- D

What Time Is It?

It's 12:44.

Everyone feels a special need to fill in moments of silence with small talk whenever they are around other people. People unconsciously fill in those moments with bullshit sentences that don't mean anything at all. It just feels really awkward when no one is talking. That doesn't mean that there always needs to be something to talk about; there doesn't. It just means that there can never be nothing to talk about.


And those moments where nothing comes to mind? Hm... Never thought about that.

- D

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Drunk

So. Blogging while intoxicated. Certainly different. I feel like I'm writing much shorter sentences than I usually do and I am also typing a great deal slower. I am also slowly falling asleep so I have to finish this quickly otherwise it might go unpublished.

There are so many things that I wish that I'd done in life. I want to spend more time with my dad; he's not gonna be around forever, and I love him with all my heart. I want to be more honest with my friends and I want them to be more honest with me. World peace, world hunger, etc. Mostly, I want to learn more about myself and the things I can accomplish. I want to find my true potential in this world and fulfill it, because for some reason I refuse to act towards the direction I want to.

So I don't know why I decided to make a list of things I want. It just kind of flowed out so I wrote it down... Oh well, it's for the best. I will read this tomorrow and I might actually change something that's happening in my life for the better.

Wow. As I'm typing I realize how much I like the feel of this keyboard and how it types. Huh. That's sort of random, but I guess I'd been thinking about it all along...

- D

Friday, February 3, 2012

Illusion of Knowledge

One of the many things that people don't tell you that you learn in college, is how to decide what work you have to do and what work you don't have to do. This is because many, if not all, teachers assign busy work. They don't do it on purpose all of the time, but you just don't need to do all of this work in order to learn the material.

Half of the stuff teachers present in their class is complete bullshit. It's an illusion of learning that the teachers force upon us in order to teach us one thing: to sort through bullshit. This is one of the most reliable bits of knowledge you will learn throughout your life.

This skill allows you to gather information from previously unreliable sources. It allows you to learn things where knowledge was previously unavailable. As long as you can differentiate between the reliable and the unreliable, there are no limits as to how far you can go.

- D

Alcohol and Other Drugs

Why do human beings feel the need to drink when they want to? What makes us so addicted to feeling differently than we are supposed to? It doesn't make sense why people, including me, don't want to think how they normally think and prefer to make mistakes while intoxicated or otherwise under the influence. It might be because normal life is boring and people want to spice things up, but the next morning there is an 80% chance that we will just regret what happened the night before...

Ironically, I am mildly intoxicated right now while writing this, and for some reason it feels sort of good. The blur of the world and the lack of importance of everything that happens is sort of fun/interesting. People also look at you differently when they are drunk and this is also the reason guys prefer girls drunk...

I'm not condemning anyone reading this that uses any types of drugs or alcohol, cause I do as well; but I'm just saying that next time you do, think of the reason you feel compelled to do so. Also, try not to drink when you're sad, because that can lead to some very upsetting things.

- D

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Silly Generalizations

Everyone my age is arrogant, including me. This is not to say that we don't care about others, cause we do; but we rarely do anything that doesn't SOMEHOW further ourselves in the world. There are two kinds of people, though. There are people who are truly self-centered, who literally always see their own opinion as the better one. There are also people who will actually pay attention to other people's needs if those people concern them. I'm not saying that those people will go out of their way to help people in need all the time, but if these people see someone and can assist without hurting themselves or anyone else too much, they most always will.

I'm not sure which one of these types of people I am. The fact that I'm writing this blog right now, and you the reader (random person who stumbled upon it somehow and doesn't even care) are reading it, means that I am to some extent infatuated with myself. On the other hand, I like to see myself as someone who cares for other people and normally doesn't hesitate to help whenever possible.

Oh well, these are probably just the ignorant ramblings of someone who just took 4 melatonin tablets and really needs his sleep...

- D

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

One Person

In every situation, consciously or not, there is always someone in charge. There is always a person who most of the people unconsciously see as the most powerful in that specific situation. This person also seems to mostly be the one with the least to lose, the spectator, if I may. Think about that in the next situation you're in...

- D

Her

There's always that one girl... She sits in front of you in class. She seems almost perfect, but you know that you'll probably never get to know her. There's that boy who sits next to her and hits on her all class; he is probably very nice but to you he is not. You learn to dislike him a little.

That's how it always is with girls. There is always that guy, who in every other circumstance could be your friend, but since he is with her, he is your enemy. It's taken me a while to learn that, while you may be "in love" with this girl, it's not really love... It's circumstantial...it's shallow, only surface. You talk to a girl who is in your opinion very attractive and interesting, and within a week you will think that you're in love.

- D